Still in Taipei.

This announcement is coming about two months too late, but better late than never, right?

Four months ago I wrote that come August I was leaving Taiwan to backpack southeast Asia with a friend. However, as August drew closer and closer, I realized with the utmost certainty that I wasn’t ready to leave Taipei. It was going to break my heart. I felt as though there were still some things I needed to take care of here. First and foremost: studying Mandarin.

Even though I hated to do it, I pulled out of my backpacking trip. It was tough to let go of that dream of traveling Asia, living the life of a beach bum and exploring new and vibrant cities. But as soon as I did so, I felt peaceful, like a weight had lifted. I felt good deciding to stay somewhere, for perhaps the first time in my life.

But Taipei? Oh, Taipei. There is something about this city, this country, that has captured my heart and my attention. I have never experienced this level of peace anywhere. Maybe it’s the people, the endless smiles, the constant calls of “yuanying guanling” anytime I enter an establishment. Or the amount of drink choices at 7-11. Or the never-ending supply of fresh, delicious, exotic fruits and vegetables. Because, oh my god, the FRUIT. Maybe it’s the fact I’ve found my places: the place I run at night, my night market, my local friends, my fruit stand, my always-changing neighborhood. It’s the temples, the worship, the colors interwoven with the gray skies. It’s how Taipei 101 is lit up at night, and maybe even the way I almost always get hit by those blue trucks. It’s the markets and the energy and the scooters and the way families seem to love being together.

I’ve settled in here. I’ve made my own little family, a community, at the hostel. I’m happy. It tore at my heart to think of leaving this city after only a year. Why would I leave a place like this?

So since my decision to stay, I enrolled at the Chinese Culture University, the school of continuing education. Two weeks ago I started studying Mandarin.

I know. About time, right?

Studying so far is incredible. I loved this place before, but the language barrier made things difficult. But now, a whole new world is opening up for me. Now instead of looking at the characters and seeing only a meaningless scribble, something is starting to take shape. I can look at some characters and a word pops into my head. Not a lot, but some. And that delight in understanding is the best motivation to continue studying. Part of me regrets not studying mandarin sooner, but I’m so happy to be doing it now that I can’t get too upset.

So there it is. For the foreseeable future, I’ll be in Taipei. At the moment, I’m not teaching, but I’ll figure out a new job eventually. This time, I’m not going to end the post with a prediction on where I’ll be three months from now. That never seems to turn out how I think it will.

What is there to say?

My weekend overview: Friday night card games, ring of death, Taiwan beer, good friends, no sleep, music, photographs, laughing until I cry, hugs, acting a fool, dancing, teaching, reading, trains, work, beach, sand, swimming, getting knocked about by waves, deep talks, horror movies, jokes, kisses, pizza, group grocery excursions, laundry, walla-walla moose, singing.

The consensus? Quite possibly the best weekend I’ve had in Taiwan. Maybe one of the best weekends I’ve had since I went abroad.

And par for the course, lately.

With just a little under three months left in this country, life has been moving forward at a breakneck pace. It has been so busy that there has been little to no time to keep up with family and friends. (Sorry about that, everyone).

But in the last two and a half months, I’ve done some awesome things.

I went to the beach three times.

Fulong 🙂

🙂

I spent far too many nights dancing until nearly dawn.

I saw LMFAO in concert.

Party rockin’.

I visited the Taipei Zoo.

Wo ai elephants.

I said goodbye to one of my favorite yo-yo babies.

My “monkey,” Stanley.

Silly face.

All in all, the last two months have been nothing short of amazing. I nearly lost it every single day in May, what with having to practice with my kindy class for a Mother’s Day performance. But I got past it, and more importantly, my kiddos rocked it.

I can’t quite believe that June, my birthday month, is HERE. My departure date (August 28) is rapidly approaching. Quite honestly, my heart is hurting at the thought of leaving.

I work a lot. I get frustrated about that, and a lot of the time it puts me in a bad mood because I’m so tired. But my days are full. They are full of laughter, hugs, friends, new sights, joy, wonder. I didn’t have that at my job in the States. I plodded through each day, always looking ahead to when I would be finished and on my way to something new.

I’m not doing that now. I’m happy here — more than happy most days. I have so many moments of “I live here. I live here.” Rather than urging the days to pass by, I’m holding on tightly, hoping they quit slipping by so quickly. I’m making memories, letting go and living more fully.

Leaving will be hard, and it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. There’s things I don’t want to give up yet.

But once again, I will be starting a new adventure: Backpacking. I don’t know where my friend and I are going yet, I don’t know where we will end up. But it will be a grand adventure, and I look forward to it.

I still have two months and 25 days left. And there’s so much I have to look forward to: bungee jumping, my birthday, trips to the South, my best friend visiting. It will be a busy time, and I’m ready to welcome it with everything that I have. If this weekend is any indication, this summer will be the best yet.

I am happy. I am happy. I am happy. That’s all I wanted out of this experience.

Six months in, and it’s still sweet.

I left home six months ago today.

I remember that day: hugging my mom and sister goodbye repeatedly, craning my neck to get my last glimpse of my hometown for who knows how long. Struggling not to cry on the way to Dallas because I really didn’t want my dad to see. I remember not being able to sleep that night, kept awake by nerves and honestly, terror. I had no idea what to expect, or what would happen. If I only I knew then just how good it would be.

And then the next day, August 5, I hugged my dad for a long time, swallowed my reservations and fears as best I could and hopped on a plane out of the country for the first time. Destination: Prague.

And thus my life changed for the better.

When I started planning to take this TEFL course back in June 2010, I could never have predicted it would have unfolded the way it has. I was naively ready to stay in Prague and go from there.

Funny how things work out, really.

And yet, like I said in my New Year’s Eve post, I wouldn’t change one single thing. I’ve fallen hard for Asia, with all its quirks and craziness and loveliness and crowds and smells.

The last six months have been a beautiful, messy, crazy, exhilarating whirlwind: new sights, new sounds, new tastes, new smells, new people, new experiences, and most importantly, new friends.

There have been days when I couldn’t stop crying from homesickness. There have been days where teaching was awful and I wondered what I’d signed up for. There have been days where all I wanted was to catch the next flight out of Taipei and go back home to everything familiar.  And my cat.

But then I walk into my classes to shouts of “Hi, Teacher Katie!” Or I nearly get bowled over by my yo-yo kiddos when I walk in the room. Or I sample something simultaneously questionable and absolutely delicious at the night market. And then I see the mountains from my daily commute. Those beautiful mountains.

So the good days? Hands down, they have outweighed the bad. No question about it. When it’s good, it’s good.

Being abroad for six months is a major milestone for me. I’ve never been away from home this long, and part of me, after my Boston debacle, wanted simply to prove that I could do it–that I could leave home and settle somewhere else in this world other than Texas.

I also wanted something else: peace. When I was working in Lubbock, I just felt so unsettled. I knew, deep down, that for me, I wasn’t doing enough. Work was a challenge at times, but life outside of work? Same old, same old.

That’s why I did TEFL. I guess I was looking for something different. I knew I wanted to travel and I knew I wanted to live in a foreign country.  I’m not sure if what I’ve found in Taipei is peace, but it’s definitely something. It’s a challenge, every single day — both my work life and my life outside of work.

What I wanted most was to feel as though I was actually living, actually doing something good and semi-interesting with my life, instead of signing up for a lifetime of the 9-5.

I got that.

So I’ve reached  my six month marker.  It hasn’t been perfect and it definitely hasn’t been what I expected.

But I got everything I wanted so far and my heart is light right now.

So people, just let go and live a little, already. You’ll be amply rewarded for it.

Do something unexpected.

A week to remember. Happy Chinese New Year!

The past week has left a constant refrain on my mind.

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Thank you that, after a year of dreaming and researching and wishing and hoping, I was able to experience this.

Painting my lantern 🙂

And see all of this.

Thank you that I live so close to this — in such a gorgeous, amazing, confusing country.

I’m not sure who I’m thanking constantly. But I just am so very, very grateful right now.

Last week was Chinese New Year. I didn’t have work, and I wasn’t sure what I would do. I wanted to play tourist in Taipei though — and did I ever.

Words don’t do my experience justice — there’s no way to describe it. But here’s a few things:

I scootered around the mountains. I drank tea at the top of a mountain overlooking Taipei. I met some amazing new people. I went to a magnificent, beautiful lantern festival. I got hand-picked out of a crowd of hundreds with my friends to participate in the release. I experienced new, delicious foods. I went to the ocean.

It was beyond amazing — the entire week. I love this country. I love this time in my life.

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful…something.

“Since I’ve been here I’ve realized that while moving to a city was definitely one of my dreams it can’t possibly be a dream come true. Boston will change me. I know I’ll grow here and I’m excited, so incredibly excited, to experience new things, meet new people and see new places. But it’s time to figure out my next big dream and go for it as determinedly as I did moving to Boston.”

I wrote that two years ago — exactly two weeks after my big move to Boston.

It’s funny thinking of how far I’ve come since then. I think I’ve done so much maturing — I’ve calmed down. I’ve stopped analyzing every little thing, and learned, for the most part, to just breathe in the moment. To let things happen and realize there’s not always a perfect reason for why things unfold the way they do.

And life has definitely unfolded for me.

It’s not so much that monumental things happen daily in Taipei. The very opposite, in fact. I sleep, go to work, come home, spend time with friends.

It’s more that I feel really good about what I’m doing. I feel good when I’m teaching and laughing with my students; I feel good when I’m commuting and watching the city go by; I feel good when I’m with my friends.

Everything is good, and I don’t want to go anywhere else anytime soon.

Pinglin, Taiwan

Goofing around in Pinglin. I really am still hoping those statues aren't sacred.

I’ve been trying to do more lately other than work. And it’s been fun. There’s been dancing, day trips and lots of walks to the market. There was even a scooter trip thrown in. The past few weekends have been filled to the brim with activities, and each one has given me memories I want to lock in my head and never let go.

Pinglin.

I wrote two years ago that Boston would change me. I had a feeling, and I was right. Boston did change me, and it taught me numerous invaluable lessons, not without a lot of pain along the way.

I have a feeling about Taiwan. This is going to be even better, I can feel it. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but the past four months have shown me this much.

It’s going to be good, so good.

The right place, at the right time.

I had a good, long conversation with my sister yesterday. It was desperately needed. It was so nice to catch up on each other’s lives, since we’re living on opposite sides of the world for a year. I found out we’re both going through some of the same emotions.

One thing I noticed is that we both have some moments of ” What the heck am I doing here? Why am I not at home doing something ‘normal’?”

No matter how much I love Taipei, those thoughts are inevitable. They just are. On bad days, and even sometimes on good days, thoughts like that creep into my head. It’s a struggle to get past at times. Especially when my students get rowdy. Or I’m homesick.

However.

More often than not, there are so many moments where it hits me: I’m teaching English. In TAIWAN, of all the places. A year ago, I never would have imagined that this is where I’d end up. Never.

And I love that. And I know, despite all the struggles of living in Asia, this is where I’m supposed to be right now.

I’m meeting wonderful, interesting people — from every corner of the world. I’m working with some truly amazing students. (I mean, come on, my class of 2 year olds knows the American ABC’s, and colors and the names for fruits and veggies. Brilliant little babies.) Right now I live two minutes away from both a bustling night market AND a mind-boggling clothing market. Rows and rows and rows of clothes, shoes, jewelry. Heaven on earth, maybe? I think yes.

A year ago I had a vague idea for myself: I would take a time-out from “real life” and a job I, to put it nicely, couldn’t stand. I thought I would travel and teach for a year, then come home and figure out things from there — whether that meant going back to school to get my master’s degree or finding something better to do as far as a job went. But I planned on staying in Prague, or at least somewhere in Eastern Europe. That was the plan. I thought it would happen naturally.

And despite all those plans, here I am: Literally on the other side of the world. It just goes to show: You can plan all you want, but that doesn’t mean life will unfold the way you want it to.

I’m laughing at myself now. I love that I thought I knew what would happen. Ah, well. That’s just how it goes, I suppose.

You can plan all you want, but that doesn’t mean life will unfold the way you want it to.

So my new plan? Just live life.

When I moved to Boston I spent all my time analyzing every single thought I had. I picked over every experience, and every interaction. It made for some good blog content, but seriously? I know I missed out on some good things. I got too stuck in my head.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been focused on trying to enjoy the moment, to commit things to memory a little more, rather than just writing a blog post in my head.

There has to be a happy medium, right?

Anyway. To the point: I may not know right now what the point is of me being here. Maybe it’s just to experience some new culture. Maybe this will lead me somewhere else I never thought I’d end up. Maybe I’ll just have a fun year, go home and get on with life.

Who the hell knows? I don’t. I just have to keep holding on to some faith in something: Faith that the decisions I’m making are the right ones for me.

And here’s my inspiration for this post, from the show “How I Met Your Mother”:

“The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan, kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there. The right place at the right time.”

Good stuff, that.

Leaving the comfort zone.

I think it’s time for a small reflection.

I’ve been abroad for a little more than two months now, and nothing has turned out how I imagined it would. Never in a million years did I think I’d end up in Asia. And that’s ok. Because I’m teaching English in a foreign country, and that’s what I wanted.

For the most part, things have been amazing. I’m relishing the excitement and adrenaline I feel just walking down the street in Taipei. There’s always something to look at, always something new to taste or smell. Especially smell — stinky tofu is rampant here.

The night markets are without a doubt my favorite thing so far in this country. I’ve only been to a couple, but it always seems to be an experience. There is one a 2-minute walk from where I’m living, the Raohe St. Night Market, and I love wandering through it. It’s crowded and sweaty, and I constantly get jostled by the crowd, but there’s just something about it that’s addicting. I have to put pictures up next time. Also, all the people there are so friendly. I’ve made friends. Vendors smile and wave, and shout “Hello!” Ordering food is always an experience, although I’ve yet to actually act out what I want to eat. I usually just point at what I know.

Maybe I’ll get brave soon.

I also started teaching, as of October 3. It’s pretty intense, and I’m not going to lie, there have been some crappy days in there already. And getting there is an ordeal, as it’s a bus ride that takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.

But there have also been some great moments in there as well.

Like when my yo-yo class (2-3 year olds) finally recognized me and spent the whole of a class hugging on me. Or playing games with my level 1 class. Hearing the kiddos say “Hi, Teacher Katie!”

There’s not a lot I can say right now, mostly because I just finished my first week.

Teaching is hard. Really hard. It’s not instinctive yet, and I’m certainly not a natural. I’m not sure what I expected, but this is definitely a challenge. A few times I’ve had to seriously talk myself out of running away. Not because I don’t like Taipei, but mostly because I’ve leaped so very far out of my comfort zone. (What happened to the girl who could barely speak in front of strangers?)

But every time I consider it I remind myself of this time a year ago: When I was so desperately unhappy that I would have taken any means of escape offered to me.

And it sort of makes me wonder how chucking this opportunity has even crossed my mind.

I know that if I gave up on teaching I wouldn’t be able to deal with going home. I can’t, and refuse to, be that person again. And this time, my resolve is so much stronger.

I don’t know what the next year of teaching will be like, but I’m ready to take on the experience. I think overall it will be good for me.