Always thankful. Always grateful.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today marks my third consecutive Thanksgiving away from home. Two years ago I was working in Lubbock. One year ago, I was in Taipei. And today? Today I am still in Taipei.

Taiwan. How did this happen? Who would have thought I would last this long? My heart is happy.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful — more thankful than before, really.

I’m thankful for opportunities that sometimes I don’t think I deserve. But they’re in front of me nonetheless, and for that, I’m grateful.

I am thankful, as always, for my loving and supportive, kind and beautiful, funny and interesting, amazing parents and sister. I don’t know what I would have done without them this year. When I needed them, they were there, offering me advice and love, even from halfway around the world. I haven’t seen them in so long (my sister in more than a year and a half) but I think we may have a better relationship than ever.

A few years ago, my life beyond college graduation was foggy and uncertain. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea where to go or who to be. For lack of a better plan, I moved to Boston. When I came back, I still had no idea what to do, but one thing was clear: I needed to leave. I needed space to take a step back and look at my options from a clearer perspective.

And although today I still have very little idea what I’ll do when I “grow up,” I’m thankful that day by day the road gets less foggy. These days my decisions are made with a little clearer head, with a mentality that asks, “how will I feel about this in 6 months or a year?” rather than “this is best for me RIGHT NOW.” Every day I’m in Taipei it’s obvious that staying here was the right decision. (I pray that I don’t eat those words in three months, but who knows.)

And so, this year, I am thankful that I can make decisions. I am so thankful for faith. For knowing when to make the right decision. For realizing when I’m in the right place, at the right time.

I’m thankful for clarity. This year, I don’t know why, I have started the slow process of understanding how precious this life is. We’re here for so short a time, it’s important to make what we do count. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a lawyer, I’m not an award-winning scientist. However, I’m doing something these days that makes me happy. I believe I’m on a path toward something great. Something better. That thought sustains me.

I’m thankful that one year ago I took a chance and left the United States. If I had never done that, if I had stayed in the United States…oh. I can’t bear to think who I would be or what I would be like.

There have been so many days recently where I’ve walked down the street in a daze, breathing thanks, in awe of the place that I’ve landed for now. I am a blessed and lucky girl.

Overall? Overall, I’m thankful for my life: for the moments that fill my life here — both the extraordinary and the mundane. Because there are a lot of those moments these days. My life is full.

And I am so grateful for that fact.

So thank you.

Six months in, and it’s still sweet.

I left home six months ago today.

I remember that day: hugging my mom and sister goodbye repeatedly, craning my neck to get my last glimpse of my hometown for who knows how long. Struggling not to cry on the way to Dallas because I really didn’t want my dad to see. I remember not being able to sleep that night, kept awake by nerves and honestly, terror. I had no idea what to expect, or what would happen. If I only I knew then just how good it would be.

And then the next day, August 5, I hugged my dad for a long time, swallowed my reservations and fears as best I could and hopped on a plane out of the country for the first time. Destination: Prague.

And thus my life changed for the better.

When I started planning to take this TEFL course back in June 2010, I could never have predicted it would have unfolded the way it has. I was naively ready to stay in Prague and go from there.

Funny how things work out, really.

And yet, like I said in my New Year’s Eve post, I wouldn’t change one single thing. I’ve fallen hard for Asia, with all its quirks and craziness and loveliness and crowds and smells.

The last six months have been a beautiful, messy, crazy, exhilarating whirlwind: new sights, new sounds, new tastes, new smells, new people, new experiences, and most importantly, new friends.

There have been days when I couldn’t stop crying from homesickness. There have been days where teaching was awful and I wondered what I’d signed up for. There have been days where all I wanted was to catch the next flight out of Taipei and go back home to everything familiar.  And my cat.

But then I walk into my classes to shouts of “Hi, Teacher Katie!” Or I nearly get bowled over by my yo-yo kiddos when I walk in the room. Or I sample something simultaneously questionable and absolutely delicious at the night market. And then I see the mountains from my daily commute. Those beautiful mountains.

So the good days? Hands down, they have outweighed the bad. No question about it. When it’s good, it’s good.

Being abroad for six months is a major milestone for me. I’ve never been away from home this long, and part of me, after my Boston debacle, wanted simply to prove that I could do it–that I could leave home and settle somewhere else in this world other than Texas.

I also wanted something else: peace. When I was working in Lubbock, I just felt so unsettled. I knew, deep down, that for me, I wasn’t doing enough. Work was a challenge at times, but life outside of work? Same old, same old.

That’s why I did TEFL. I guess I was looking for something different. I knew I wanted to travel and I knew I wanted to live in a foreign country.  I’m not sure if what I’ve found in Taipei is peace, but it’s definitely something. It’s a challenge, every single day — both my work life and my life outside of work.

What I wanted most was to feel as though I was actually living, actually doing something good and semi-interesting with my life, instead of signing up for a lifetime of the 9-5.

I got that.

So I’ve reached  my six month marker.  It hasn’t been perfect and it definitely hasn’t been what I expected.

But I got everything I wanted so far and my heart is light right now.

So people, just let go and live a little, already. You’ll be amply rewarded for it.

Do something unexpected.

Christmas in Taiwan.

If you had told me a year ago I’d be spending Christmas 2011 in Asia, I might have laughed in your face. My plan was completely different: I’d be in Prague for the holidays, wander around the Christmas markets at night, and ring in the new year somewhere in Europe.

Joke’s on me, apparently!

But I am ok with that. Like I’ve posted before, I’m truly loving my time in Taiwan. My students are wonderful, and classes are getting better and better. I’m getting to know my students…and truly care about them.

I mean, come on, they’re adorable. Look at this:

My yo-yo class, Dec. 17, 2011

As good as things have been lately, I have to admit that the holiday season has fallen a little flat to me this year.

Sure, it’s Christmas, but it’s not the same as back home. In Taiwan, it’s not so much a holiday thing as a commercial thing. There’s no meaning behind the decorations and the music here.

And without much meaning, December is just another month. I did my best to spread some Christmas cheer though. I made Christmas cards, learned how to say Merry Christmas in Chinese and said it simply to amuse my students. We decorated our hostel and hung snowflakes from the ceiling and wore Santa hats. We had a lovely turkey dinner Christmas Eve, and stuffed stockings.

Christmas Eve, 2011.

I went to a Christmas Eve service with my friends, where we were welcomed with open arms and smiles. Although I couldn’t understand much, it was wonderful listening to the Christmas carols and singing along in English. It was a wonderful way to remember what the season is all about: Love.

I avoided feeling homesick, because I could have gone off the deep end that way, and focused on how incredibly lucky I am to be at this point in my life. There is not one thing I would change. I am so content with life in Taiwan.

And that’s a pretty damn cool feeling.

But this holiday season I was reminded of just how much I love my family.

Christmas 2010, Abilene.

It reminded me just how much I love spending Christmas at home, literally wrapped up in my home with those who are most important to me. It reminded me how lucky I am to have that safe haven to return to each year. It reminded me of what Christmas means to me: being with those people I love. The people I couldn’t get through life without.

And that’s what got me through this holiday season. All you guys who sent me an e-card, a text message, talked to me on Facebook?

You made my Christmas feel Christmas-y. And that is a big deal.

Thank you. And Merry Christmas. It was a good one.

A Taiwan Thanksgiving. Or, there’s no place like home.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today I am in Taiwan.

I knew it would be a hard day, partly because I’ve never really been away from my family for the holidays and partly because I was majorly sick. (The hospital was involved.)

There are a lot of things I could complain and whine about, but that’s not what today is about.

I’ve gotten through it. And I’ve made a whole new list of things I’m thankful for. So bear with me.

I’m thankful for everything I miss. All the little comforts of home: my bed (oh, I miss my bed.), my cat, my book collection. What I’ve learned this year is that there’s really no place like home. No place where I feel as comfortable or secure as there. I’m so very blessed.

But being away showed me what’s really important during the holidays, and really, every day of the year: relationships. It’s not so much the food or the music. It’s about friends. And family.

So friends and family, I just want to say: I am so thankful for all of you. I miss you so much.

I’m so thankful for my parents: You two have been wonderful. I could not have asked for a better set of parents. You have been so understanding this year and so supportive, and I don’t know if I ever can express how much your support and faith in me means to me.

I’m thankful for my sister. I’ve been so impressed by what she’s doing in the world.I miss you like crazy E, but I can’t wait to see you next year.

I’m thankful for my best friends. You know who you are, and you know I would utterly and completely lost without your sound advice and listening ears. Thank you 🙂

And again? I’m thankful for where I am today. I read my blog posts from last year and the year before. And I had to smile. That girl was so full of fire and dreams. I’m not sure I’m the same as her anymore.

Because I’m here. Last year I had no idea where I’d be for the 2011 holiday season. That both thrilled me and terrified me.

But here I am. I’m in Taipei. Of all the places in the world I imagined going, this was never it. Not in a million years did I think I’d be in Asia. And yet, I love it, right now. I’m thankful I took this chance. I’m thankful I never became complacent. I’m thankful that I never settled.

I’m thankful for the chance I’ve had to experience Asia: It’s such a wonderful place. I’m thankful I was able to confirm my belief that people, essentially, are good. (And no — they’re NOT out to “get us Americans.” I’m sick to death of that attitude.)

Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I look back on this year. I can’t believe all that’s happened. I can’t believe I’m here sometimes. I’m so thankful that my dreams culminated into this something. It’s a good feeling. Sometimes overwhelming.

But I’m so thankful. I’m so, so thankful for everything.

Now on to Christmas in Taipei…let the decorating begin!