Always thankful. Always grateful.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today marks my third consecutive Thanksgiving away from home. Two years ago I was working in Lubbock. One year ago, I was in Taipei. And today? Today I am still in Taipei.

Taiwan. How did this happen? Who would have thought I would last this long? My heart is happy.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful — more thankful than before, really.

I’m thankful for opportunities that sometimes I don’t think I deserve. But they’re in front of me nonetheless, and for that, I’m grateful.

I am thankful, as always, for my loving and supportive, kind and beautiful, funny and interesting, amazing parents and sister. I don’t know what I would have done without them this year. When I needed them, they were there, offering me advice and love, even from halfway around the world. I haven’t seen them in so long (my sister in more than a year and a half) but I think we may have a better relationship than ever.

A few years ago, my life beyond college graduation was foggy and uncertain. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea where to go or who to be. For lack of a better plan, I moved to Boston. When I came back, I still had no idea what to do, but one thing was clear: I needed to leave. I needed space to take a step back and look at my options from a clearer perspective.

And although today I still have very little idea what I’ll do when I “grow up,” I’m thankful that day by day the road gets less foggy. These days my decisions are made with a little clearer head, with a mentality that asks, “how will I feel about this in 6 months or a year?” rather than “this is best for me RIGHT NOW.” Every day I’m in Taipei it’s obvious that staying here was the right decision. (I pray that I don’t eat those words in three months, but who knows.)

And so, this year, I am thankful that I can make decisions. I am so thankful for faith. For knowing when to make the right decision. For realizing when I’m in the right place, at the right time.

I’m thankful for clarity. This year, I don’t know why, I have started the slow process of understanding how precious this life is. We’re here for so short a time, it’s important to make what we do count. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a lawyer, I’m not an award-winning scientist. However, I’m doing something these days that makes me happy. I believe I’m on a path toward something great. Something better. That thought sustains me.

I’m thankful that one year ago I took a chance and left the United States. If I had never done that, if I had stayed in the United States…oh. I can’t bear to think who I would be or what I would be like.

There have been so many days recently where I’ve walked down the street in a daze, breathing thanks, in awe of the place that I’ve landed for now. I am a blessed and lucky girl.

Overall? Overall, I’m thankful for my life: for the moments that fill my life here — both the extraordinary and the mundane. Because there are a lot of those moments these days. My life is full.

And I am so grateful for that fact.

So thank you.

“What’s wrong with you guys today?” “We’re just happy, Teacher Katie!”

I did some math today: I figured out how many weeks I’ve spent abroad so far.

The answer? 30.

I’ve been abroad for 30 consecutive weeks. That number astounds me. That’s more than half a year — and the longest I’ve ever been away from home. On the one hand, it feels as though just yesterday I flew out of Texas, across the Atlantic and landed myself in fairy-tale Prague. Just yesterday that I said goodbye to my friends and family.

But on the other hand? On the other hand so much has happened in those 30 weeks. Things that have changed me, stretched me, hurt me, scared me, taught me, and most importantly, things that have made me truly, unbelievably, simply happy. Things that have shown me how important it is to take a chance, or, in Lily Aldrin’s words, to take the leap.

I’ve spent those 30 weeks dancing in multiple clubs, hiking mountains, riding bikes, watching movies, teaching and getting to know some amazing, wonderful kids, exploring night markets and generally trying most foods Taiwan has to offer. I’ve even become a fan of stinky tofu. I’ve been immersed in foreign languages and a new culture, learned how to carry myself in a way that suggests I know what I’m doing and been stared and pointed at like a freak in a circus. I’ve had good days, great days and horrible days, and gotten through them all.

And tomorrow? I leave for a visit in Texas:  hot, blustery, windy, friendly, stubborn, wonderful, dry Texas. My HOME.

To say I’m excited would be an understatement.

I can’t believe it’s already time for me to go home. When I left in August I genuinely had no idea when I’d be back in Texas. I told myself at most I’d be gone two months: That if Prague and teaching didn’t pan out how I wanted I could always come home.

I’m laughing at myself now: I was so terrified at the thought of leaving home that I could barely sleep at night last summer. If only I knew…if only I knew how wonderfully it was going to turn out. Luckily, the adventure isn’t over just yet. I hope I’m living up to all that potential I wrote about. I’m trying — that I know for sure.

Good ol' Midland.

Home 🙂

I want to see my parents, stuff myself silly with Mexican food and my mom’s cooking (and Goldfish), snuggle with my cat, and see my friends. I want to see my grandparents, and tell them just how much I missed them.

I want to drive my car down the highway, windows down, country music blasting, with the hot air rushing in. I want to be able to read signs and ask questions without struggling to communicate. I want a break from feeling like a giant with blond, curly hair.

I can’t wait. I wonder what will be different and what will be the same. I wonder how much I will have changed.

It feels good to leave Taipei for a few weeks the way I am: on a high note. Yes, I’m thrilled to go home, but also, I’m not aching with homesickness. If anything, I’ve grown so comfortable and fallen so hard for Taipei that I think I could stick it out longer: a few more weeks, months — who knows?

The point is: I’m excited to go home. But I’ll also be excited to get back to lovely Taipei. I’ll miss the food: the chung yo bing, the dan bing, the teas, the fresh fruits, the veggies the dumplings, noodles, tofu and more. I’ll miss not knowing what I’m eating 95% percent of the time.

I want to come back to a place that challenges me, thrills me, charms me, scares me (sometimes), irritates me and most definitely never bores me. I’ll miss the adventure.

Taipei: Why can't you be this pretty ALL the time??

I said goodbye to my favorite class yesterday: my level 6 class. I won’t teach them for three Saturdays in a row, and that genuinely makes me sad. I love them. Wednesday was particularly fun. They were crazy, crazy, crazy. I asked them, “What’s wrong with you guys today?” They all burst out laughing as though I’d said the funniest thing in the world, then one kid said, “We’re just happy today, Teacher Katie!”

As am I. Well said, Isan. I couldn’t very well get mad at them for being crazy then, could I? 🙂 I gave it up and we had a crazy day. And I wouldn’t give that up for anything.

We took pictures at the end of class, and those photos just make my heart smile. They’re all grabbing at me and laughing and having fun. It’s a good memory. A few of the girls wrote me notes that they would miss me — gold, right there. I love it.

I adore these kids.

When I left they kept telling me, “Teacher, I’ll miss you!” That made me feel so happy.

It’s like when I walk into my yo-yo class every day: Those frustrating and amazing babies start yelling “Teacher Katie! Teacher Katie!” over and over, at the top of their lungs. Then it’s a race over to get big hugs from me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nearly been knocked over because toddlers are hugging me around the legs. And yelling my name. And hitting my butt. Or trying to tickle me. And jostling for high-fives. And even, at times, saying “I love you, Teacher Katie!”

It’s the best feeling in the world, that. It makes me feel like I’ve done something good, like I’ve done something that makes me mean something to those kids. I don’t want them to forget me — and I know I’ll never forget them.

And I hope I do mean something to them — because at this point, all my students mean so much to me.

So what’s wrong with me today? I’m just happy. Life is good, and I’m going to see my family soon. I can’t wait.

A week to remember. Happy Chinese New Year!

The past week has left a constant refrain on my mind.

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Thank you that, after a year of dreaming and researching and wishing and hoping, I was able to experience this.

Painting my lantern 🙂

And see all of this.

Thank you that I live so close to this — in such a gorgeous, amazing, confusing country.

I’m not sure who I’m thanking constantly. But I just am so very, very grateful right now.

Last week was Chinese New Year. I didn’t have work, and I wasn’t sure what I would do. I wanted to play tourist in Taipei though — and did I ever.

Words don’t do my experience justice — there’s no way to describe it. But here’s a few things:

I scootered around the mountains. I drank tea at the top of a mountain overlooking Taipei. I met some amazing new people. I went to a magnificent, beautiful lantern festival. I got hand-picked out of a crowd of hundreds with my friends to participate in the release. I experienced new, delicious foods. I went to the ocean.

It was beyond amazing — the entire week. I love this country. I love this time in my life.

Christmas in Taiwan.

If you had told me a year ago I’d be spending Christmas 2011 in Asia, I might have laughed in your face. My plan was completely different: I’d be in Prague for the holidays, wander around the Christmas markets at night, and ring in the new year somewhere in Europe.

Joke’s on me, apparently!

But I am ok with that. Like I’ve posted before, I’m truly loving my time in Taiwan. My students are wonderful, and classes are getting better and better. I’m getting to know my students…and truly care about them.

I mean, come on, they’re adorable. Look at this:

My yo-yo class, Dec. 17, 2011

As good as things have been lately, I have to admit that the holiday season has fallen a little flat to me this year.

Sure, it’s Christmas, but it’s not the same as back home. In Taiwan, it’s not so much a holiday thing as a commercial thing. There’s no meaning behind the decorations and the music here.

And without much meaning, December is just another month. I did my best to spread some Christmas cheer though. I made Christmas cards, learned how to say Merry Christmas in Chinese and said it simply to amuse my students. We decorated our hostel and hung snowflakes from the ceiling and wore Santa hats. We had a lovely turkey dinner Christmas Eve, and stuffed stockings.

Christmas Eve, 2011.

I went to a Christmas Eve service with my friends, where we were welcomed with open arms and smiles. Although I couldn’t understand much, it was wonderful listening to the Christmas carols and singing along in English. It was a wonderful way to remember what the season is all about: Love.

I avoided feeling homesick, because I could have gone off the deep end that way, and focused on how incredibly lucky I am to be at this point in my life. There is not one thing I would change. I am so content with life in Taiwan.

And that’s a pretty damn cool feeling.

But this holiday season I was reminded of just how much I love my family.

Christmas 2010, Abilene.

It reminded me just how much I love spending Christmas at home, literally wrapped up in my home with those who are most important to me. It reminded me how lucky I am to have that safe haven to return to each year. It reminded me of what Christmas means to me: being with those people I love. The people I couldn’t get through life without.

And that’s what got me through this holiday season. All you guys who sent me an e-card, a text message, talked to me on Facebook?

You made my Christmas feel Christmas-y. And that is a big deal.

Thank you. And Merry Christmas. It was a good one.

A Taiwan Thanksgiving. Or, there’s no place like home.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today I am in Taiwan.

I knew it would be a hard day, partly because I’ve never really been away from my family for the holidays and partly because I was majorly sick. (The hospital was involved.)

There are a lot of things I could complain and whine about, but that’s not what today is about.

I’ve gotten through it. And I’ve made a whole new list of things I’m thankful for. So bear with me.

I’m thankful for everything I miss. All the little comforts of home: my bed (oh, I miss my bed.), my cat, my book collection. What I’ve learned this year is that there’s really no place like home. No place where I feel as comfortable or secure as there. I’m so very blessed.

But being away showed me what’s really important during the holidays, and really, every day of the year: relationships. It’s not so much the food or the music. It’s about friends. And family.

So friends and family, I just want to say: I am so thankful for all of you. I miss you so much.

I’m so thankful for my parents: You two have been wonderful. I could not have asked for a better set of parents. You have been so understanding this year and so supportive, and I don’t know if I ever can express how much your support and faith in me means to me.

I’m thankful for my sister. I’ve been so impressed by what she’s doing in the world.I miss you like crazy E, but I can’t wait to see you next year.

I’m thankful for my best friends. You know who you are, and you know I would utterly and completely lost without your sound advice and listening ears. Thank you 🙂

And again? I’m thankful for where I am today. I read my blog posts from last year and the year before. And I had to smile. That girl was so full of fire and dreams. I’m not sure I’m the same as her anymore.

Because I’m here. Last year I had no idea where I’d be for the 2011 holiday season. That both thrilled me and terrified me.

But here I am. I’m in Taipei. Of all the places in the world I imagined going, this was never it. Not in a million years did I think I’d be in Asia. And yet, I love it, right now. I’m thankful I took this chance. I’m thankful I never became complacent. I’m thankful that I never settled.

I’m thankful for the chance I’ve had to experience Asia: It’s such a wonderful place. I’m thankful I was able to confirm my belief that people, essentially, are good. (And no — they’re NOT out to “get us Americans.” I’m sick to death of that attitude.)

Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I look back on this year. I can’t believe all that’s happened. I can’t believe I’m here sometimes. I’m so thankful that my dreams culminated into this something. It’s a good feeling. Sometimes overwhelming.

But I’m so thankful. I’m so, so thankful for everything.

Now on to Christmas in Taipei…let the decorating begin!