Always thankful. Always grateful.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today marks my third consecutive Thanksgiving away from home. Two years ago I was working in Lubbock. One year ago, I was in Taipei. And today? Today I am still in Taipei.

Taiwan. How did this happen? Who would have thought I would last this long? My heart is happy.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful — more thankful than before, really.

I’m thankful for opportunities that sometimes I don’t think I deserve. But they’re in front of me nonetheless, and for that, I’m grateful.

I am thankful, as always, for my loving and supportive, kind and beautiful, funny and interesting, amazing parents and sister. I don’t know what I would have done without them this year. When I needed them, they were there, offering me advice and love, even from halfway around the world. I haven’t seen them in so long (my sister in more than a year and a half) but I think we may have a better relationship than ever.

A few years ago, my life beyond college graduation was foggy and uncertain. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea where to go or who to be. For lack of a better plan, I moved to Boston. When I came back, I still had no idea what to do, but one thing was clear: I needed to leave. I needed space to take a step back and look at my options from a clearer perspective.

And although today I still have very little idea what I’ll do when I “grow up,” I’m thankful that day by day the road gets less foggy. These days my decisions are made with a little clearer head, with a mentality that asks, “how will I feel about this in 6 months or a year?” rather than “this is best for me RIGHT NOW.” Every day I’m in Taipei it’s obvious that staying here was the right decision. (I pray that I don’t eat those words in three months, but who knows.)

And so, this year, I am thankful that I can make decisions. I am so thankful for faith. For knowing when to make the right decision. For realizing when I’m in the right place, at the right time.

I’m thankful for clarity. This year, I don’t know why, I have started the slow process of understanding how precious this life is. We’re here for so short a time, it’s important to make what we do count. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a lawyer, I’m not an award-winning scientist. However, I’m doing something these days that makes me happy. I believe I’m on a path toward something great. Something better. That thought sustains me.

I’m thankful that one year ago I took a chance and left the United States. If I had never done that, if I had stayed in the United States…oh. I can’t bear to think who I would be or what I would be like.

There have been so many days recently where I’ve walked down the street in a daze, breathing thanks, in awe of the place that I’ve landed for now. I am a blessed and lucky girl.

Overall? Overall, I’m thankful for my life: for the moments that fill my life here — both the extraordinary and the mundane. Because there are a lot of those moments these days. My life is full.

And I am so grateful for that fact.

So thank you.

What is there to say?

My weekend overview: Friday night card games, ring of death, Taiwan beer, good friends, no sleep, music, photographs, laughing until I cry, hugs, acting a fool, dancing, teaching, reading, trains, work, beach, sand, swimming, getting knocked about by waves, deep talks, horror movies, jokes, kisses, pizza, group grocery excursions, laundry, walla-walla moose, singing.

The consensus? Quite possibly the best weekend I’ve had in Taiwan. Maybe one of the best weekends I’ve had since I went abroad.

And par for the course, lately.

With just a little under three months left in this country, life has been moving forward at a breakneck pace. It has been so busy that there has been little to no time to keep up with family and friends. (Sorry about that, everyone).

But in the last two and a half months, I’ve done some awesome things.

I went to the beach three times.

Fulong 🙂

🙂

I spent far too many nights dancing until nearly dawn.

I saw LMFAO in concert.

Party rockin’.

I visited the Taipei Zoo.

Wo ai elephants.

I said goodbye to one of my favorite yo-yo babies.

My “monkey,” Stanley.

Silly face.

All in all, the last two months have been nothing short of amazing. I nearly lost it every single day in May, what with having to practice with my kindy class for a Mother’s Day performance. But I got past it, and more importantly, my kiddos rocked it.

I can’t quite believe that June, my birthday month, is HERE. My departure date (August 28) is rapidly approaching. Quite honestly, my heart is hurting at the thought of leaving.

I work a lot. I get frustrated about that, and a lot of the time it puts me in a bad mood because I’m so tired. But my days are full. They are full of laughter, hugs, friends, new sights, joy, wonder. I didn’t have that at my job in the States. I plodded through each day, always looking ahead to when I would be finished and on my way to something new.

I’m not doing that now. I’m happy here — more than happy most days. I have so many moments of “I live here. I live here.” Rather than urging the days to pass by, I’m holding on tightly, hoping they quit slipping by so quickly. I’m making memories, letting go and living more fully.

Leaving will be hard, and it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. There’s things I don’t want to give up yet.

But once again, I will be starting a new adventure: Backpacking. I don’t know where my friend and I are going yet, I don’t know where we will end up. But it will be a grand adventure, and I look forward to it.

I still have two months and 25 days left. And there’s so much I have to look forward to: bungee jumping, my birthday, trips to the South, my best friend visiting. It will be a busy time, and I’m ready to welcome it with everything that I have. If this weekend is any indication, this summer will be the best yet.

I am happy. I am happy. I am happy. That’s all I wanted out of this experience.

Six months in, and it’s still sweet.

I left home six months ago today.

I remember that day: hugging my mom and sister goodbye repeatedly, craning my neck to get my last glimpse of my hometown for who knows how long. Struggling not to cry on the way to Dallas because I really didn’t want my dad to see. I remember not being able to sleep that night, kept awake by nerves and honestly, terror. I had no idea what to expect, or what would happen. If I only I knew then just how good it would be.

And then the next day, August 5, I hugged my dad for a long time, swallowed my reservations and fears as best I could and hopped on a plane out of the country for the first time. Destination: Prague.

And thus my life changed for the better.

When I started planning to take this TEFL course back in June 2010, I could never have predicted it would have unfolded the way it has. I was naively ready to stay in Prague and go from there.

Funny how things work out, really.

And yet, like I said in my New Year’s Eve post, I wouldn’t change one single thing. I’ve fallen hard for Asia, with all its quirks and craziness and loveliness and crowds and smells.

The last six months have been a beautiful, messy, crazy, exhilarating whirlwind: new sights, new sounds, new tastes, new smells, new people, new experiences, and most importantly, new friends.

There have been days when I couldn’t stop crying from homesickness. There have been days where teaching was awful and I wondered what I’d signed up for. There have been days where all I wanted was to catch the next flight out of Taipei and go back home to everything familiar.  And my cat.

But then I walk into my classes to shouts of “Hi, Teacher Katie!” Or I nearly get bowled over by my yo-yo kiddos when I walk in the room. Or I sample something simultaneously questionable and absolutely delicious at the night market. And then I see the mountains from my daily commute. Those beautiful mountains.

So the good days? Hands down, they have outweighed the bad. No question about it. When it’s good, it’s good.

Being abroad for six months is a major milestone for me. I’ve never been away from home this long, and part of me, after my Boston debacle, wanted simply to prove that I could do it–that I could leave home and settle somewhere else in this world other than Texas.

I also wanted something else: peace. When I was working in Lubbock, I just felt so unsettled. I knew, deep down, that for me, I wasn’t doing enough. Work was a challenge at times, but life outside of work? Same old, same old.

That’s why I did TEFL. I guess I was looking for something different. I knew I wanted to travel and I knew I wanted to live in a foreign country.  I’m not sure if what I’ve found in Taipei is peace, but it’s definitely something. It’s a challenge, every single day — both my work life and my life outside of work.

What I wanted most was to feel as though I was actually living, actually doing something good and semi-interesting with my life, instead of signing up for a lifetime of the 9-5.

I got that.

So I’ve reached  my six month marker.  It hasn’t been perfect and it definitely hasn’t been what I expected.

But I got everything I wanted so far and my heart is light right now.

So people, just let go and live a little, already. You’ll be amply rewarded for it.

Do something unexpected.

A week to remember. Happy Chinese New Year!

The past week has left a constant refrain on my mind.

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Thank you that, after a year of dreaming and researching and wishing and hoping, I was able to experience this.

Painting my lantern 🙂

And see all of this.

Thank you that I live so close to this — in such a gorgeous, amazing, confusing country.

I’m not sure who I’m thanking constantly. But I just am so very, very grateful right now.

Last week was Chinese New Year. I didn’t have work, and I wasn’t sure what I would do. I wanted to play tourist in Taipei though — and did I ever.

Words don’t do my experience justice — there’s no way to describe it. But here’s a few things:

I scootered around the mountains. I drank tea at the top of a mountain overlooking Taipei. I met some amazing new people. I went to a magnificent, beautiful lantern festival. I got hand-picked out of a crowd of hundreds with my friends to participate in the release. I experienced new, delicious foods. I went to the ocean.

It was beyond amazing — the entire week. I love this country. I love this time in my life.

Christmas in Taiwan.

If you had told me a year ago I’d be spending Christmas 2011 in Asia, I might have laughed in your face. My plan was completely different: I’d be in Prague for the holidays, wander around the Christmas markets at night, and ring in the new year somewhere in Europe.

Joke’s on me, apparently!

But I am ok with that. Like I’ve posted before, I’m truly loving my time in Taiwan. My students are wonderful, and classes are getting better and better. I’m getting to know my students…and truly care about them.

I mean, come on, they’re adorable. Look at this:

My yo-yo class, Dec. 17, 2011

As good as things have been lately, I have to admit that the holiday season has fallen a little flat to me this year.

Sure, it’s Christmas, but it’s not the same as back home. In Taiwan, it’s not so much a holiday thing as a commercial thing. There’s no meaning behind the decorations and the music here.

And without much meaning, December is just another month. I did my best to spread some Christmas cheer though. I made Christmas cards, learned how to say Merry Christmas in Chinese and said it simply to amuse my students. We decorated our hostel and hung snowflakes from the ceiling and wore Santa hats. We had a lovely turkey dinner Christmas Eve, and stuffed stockings.

Christmas Eve, 2011.

I went to a Christmas Eve service with my friends, where we were welcomed with open arms and smiles. Although I couldn’t understand much, it was wonderful listening to the Christmas carols and singing along in English. It was a wonderful way to remember what the season is all about: Love.

I avoided feeling homesick, because I could have gone off the deep end that way, and focused on how incredibly lucky I am to be at this point in my life. There is not one thing I would change. I am so content with life in Taiwan.

And that’s a pretty damn cool feeling.

But this holiday season I was reminded of just how much I love my family.

Christmas 2010, Abilene.

It reminded me just how much I love spending Christmas at home, literally wrapped up in my home with those who are most important to me. It reminded me how lucky I am to have that safe haven to return to each year. It reminded me of what Christmas means to me: being with those people I love. The people I couldn’t get through life without.

And that’s what got me through this holiday season. All you guys who sent me an e-card, a text message, talked to me on Facebook?

You made my Christmas feel Christmas-y. And that is a big deal.

Thank you. And Merry Christmas. It was a good one.

A Taiwan Thanksgiving. Or, there’s no place like home.

Today is Thanksgiving, and today I am in Taiwan.

I knew it would be a hard day, partly because I’ve never really been away from my family for the holidays and partly because I was majorly sick. (The hospital was involved.)

There are a lot of things I could complain and whine about, but that’s not what today is about.

I’ve gotten through it. And I’ve made a whole new list of things I’m thankful for. So bear with me.

I’m thankful for everything I miss. All the little comforts of home: my bed (oh, I miss my bed.), my cat, my book collection. What I’ve learned this year is that there’s really no place like home. No place where I feel as comfortable or secure as there. I’m so very blessed.

But being away showed me what’s really important during the holidays, and really, every day of the year: relationships. It’s not so much the food or the music. It’s about friends. And family.

So friends and family, I just want to say: I am so thankful for all of you. I miss you so much.

I’m so thankful for my parents: You two have been wonderful. I could not have asked for a better set of parents. You have been so understanding this year and so supportive, and I don’t know if I ever can express how much your support and faith in me means to me.

I’m thankful for my sister. I’ve been so impressed by what she’s doing in the world.I miss you like crazy E, but I can’t wait to see you next year.

I’m thankful for my best friends. You know who you are, and you know I would utterly and completely lost without your sound advice and listening ears. Thank you 🙂

And again? I’m thankful for where I am today. I read my blog posts from last year and the year before. And I had to smile. That girl was so full of fire and dreams. I’m not sure I’m the same as her anymore.

Because I’m here. Last year I had no idea where I’d be for the 2011 holiday season. That both thrilled me and terrified me.

But here I am. I’m in Taipei. Of all the places in the world I imagined going, this was never it. Not in a million years did I think I’d be in Asia. And yet, I love it, right now. I’m thankful I took this chance. I’m thankful I never became complacent. I’m thankful that I never settled.

I’m thankful for the chance I’ve had to experience Asia: It’s such a wonderful place. I’m thankful I was able to confirm my belief that people, essentially, are good. (And no — they’re NOT out to “get us Americans.” I’m sick to death of that attitude.)

Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I look back on this year. I can’t believe all that’s happened. I can’t believe I’m here sometimes. I’m so thankful that my dreams culminated into this something. It’s a good feeling. Sometimes overwhelming.

But I’m so thankful. I’m so, so thankful for everything.

Now on to Christmas in Taipei…let the decorating begin!

We are not the center of the universe.

All right. Time for a rant.

I’ve been abroad for three months now. And it has been, hands down, the most humbling experience of my life thus far.

The no. 1 reason for this? Because of how eager most people in Taiwan are to learn English. To read English. Or simply to communicate with me, whether it be through one-word sentences or gestures.

Here, there’s no attitude of “White girl, you don’t speak Chinese. Get out of here.” No one has ever treated me that way. All they want is a smile and some friendliness. If anyone treated me that way, I’d be completely screwed.

A smile can take you so far in life. So very far. My dad was right.

And yet, back home, (I’ve seen it a lot in Texas, much as I hate to admit it) there are pictures like this floating around:

Really, people? Really?

Is this really how you want to portray our country?

People see this. People around the world see this.

And it’s embarrassing.

It’s shameful.

And it’s not improving the world’s opinion of Americans…believe me.

I have met so many wonderful, amazing people in my time abroad: People who, while maybe they didn’t speak English perfectly, can communicate. And they made it clear they wanted to learn more.

Yet there I was, unable to speak a word of their language. And sitting there, a foreigner, listening to them talk about how much they wanted to learn English, all I felt was shame.

Shame for the attitudes that abound in my country. Shame for the people who feel that way toward others. Shame for people who are so narrow-minded as to look down on those who don’t speak their language.

But mostly, shame that some people can be so inconvenienced at having to push a button.

The world is filled with so many good people. So many decent people. And it’s a damn shame that some of you out there are so unwilling to realize this.

You’re missing out. You’re missing out on learning a new worldview. You’re missing out on the privilege of observing another culture, and learning how other people live their lives. You’re missing out on knowing some really, really interesting people.

Trust me: They have stories to share. You should listen. Just listen.

America used to pride itself on being a “melting pot” of cultures: A mix of different races, ethnicities and nationalities all blended to become one distinct, functioning community. A society built upon different lifestyles, languages and beliefs.

If America is a blend of different nationalities, why should anyone expect English to be the primary language? Shouldn’t it be some of everything?

What happened to that attitude? That was a good attitude.

The world is not just the United States. The United States is not the center of the universe.

It’s time some of you out there learned that.

The right place, at the right time.

I had a good, long conversation with my sister yesterday. It was desperately needed. It was so nice to catch up on each other’s lives, since we’re living on opposite sides of the world for a year. I found out we’re both going through some of the same emotions.

One thing I noticed is that we both have some moments of ” What the heck am I doing here? Why am I not at home doing something ‘normal’?”

No matter how much I love Taipei, those thoughts are inevitable. They just are. On bad days, and even sometimes on good days, thoughts like that creep into my head. It’s a struggle to get past at times. Especially when my students get rowdy. Or I’m homesick.

However.

More often than not, there are so many moments where it hits me: I’m teaching English. In TAIWAN, of all the places. A year ago, I never would have imagined that this is where I’d end up. Never.

And I love that. And I know, despite all the struggles of living in Asia, this is where I’m supposed to be right now.

I’m meeting wonderful, interesting people — from every corner of the world. I’m working with some truly amazing students. (I mean, come on, my class of 2 year olds knows the American ABC’s, and colors and the names for fruits and veggies. Brilliant little babies.) Right now I live two minutes away from both a bustling night market AND a mind-boggling clothing market. Rows and rows and rows of clothes, shoes, jewelry. Heaven on earth, maybe? I think yes.

A year ago I had a vague idea for myself: I would take a time-out from “real life” and a job I, to put it nicely, couldn’t stand. I thought I would travel and teach for a year, then come home and figure out things from there — whether that meant going back to school to get my master’s degree or finding something better to do as far as a job went. But I planned on staying in Prague, or at least somewhere in Eastern Europe. That was the plan. I thought it would happen naturally.

And despite all those plans, here I am: Literally on the other side of the world. It just goes to show: You can plan all you want, but that doesn’t mean life will unfold the way you want it to.

I’m laughing at myself now. I love that I thought I knew what would happen. Ah, well. That’s just how it goes, I suppose.

You can plan all you want, but that doesn’t mean life will unfold the way you want it to.

So my new plan? Just live life.

When I moved to Boston I spent all my time analyzing every single thought I had. I picked over every experience, and every interaction. It made for some good blog content, but seriously? I know I missed out on some good things. I got too stuck in my head.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been focused on trying to enjoy the moment, to commit things to memory a little more, rather than just writing a blog post in my head.

There has to be a happy medium, right?

Anyway. To the point: I may not know right now what the point is of me being here. Maybe it’s just to experience some new culture. Maybe this will lead me somewhere else I never thought I’d end up. Maybe I’ll just have a fun year, go home and get on with life.

Who the hell knows? I don’t. I just have to keep holding on to some faith in something: Faith that the decisions I’m making are the right ones for me.

And here’s my inspiration for this post, from the show “How I Met Your Mother”:

“The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan, kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there. The right place at the right time.”

Good stuff, that.

Leaving the comfort zone.

I think it’s time for a small reflection.

I’ve been abroad for a little more than two months now, and nothing has turned out how I imagined it would. Never in a million years did I think I’d end up in Asia. And that’s ok. Because I’m teaching English in a foreign country, and that’s what I wanted.

For the most part, things have been amazing. I’m relishing the excitement and adrenaline I feel just walking down the street in Taipei. There’s always something to look at, always something new to taste or smell. Especially smell — stinky tofu is rampant here.

The night markets are without a doubt my favorite thing so far in this country. I’ve only been to a couple, but it always seems to be an experience. There is one a 2-minute walk from where I’m living, the Raohe St. Night Market, and I love wandering through it. It’s crowded and sweaty, and I constantly get jostled by the crowd, but there’s just something about it that’s addicting. I have to put pictures up next time. Also, all the people there are so friendly. I’ve made friends. Vendors smile and wave, and shout “Hello!” Ordering food is always an experience, although I’ve yet to actually act out what I want to eat. I usually just point at what I know.

Maybe I’ll get brave soon.

I also started teaching, as of October 3. It’s pretty intense, and I’m not going to lie, there have been some crappy days in there already. And getting there is an ordeal, as it’s a bus ride that takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.

But there have also been some great moments in there as well.

Like when my yo-yo class (2-3 year olds) finally recognized me and spent the whole of a class hugging on me. Or playing games with my level 1 class. Hearing the kiddos say “Hi, Teacher Katie!”

There’s not a lot I can say right now, mostly because I just finished my first week.

Teaching is hard. Really hard. It’s not instinctive yet, and I’m certainly not a natural. I’m not sure what I expected, but this is definitely a challenge. A few times I’ve had to seriously talk myself out of running away. Not because I don’t like Taipei, but mostly because I’ve leaped so very far out of my comfort zone. (What happened to the girl who could barely speak in front of strangers?)

But every time I consider it I remind myself of this time a year ago: When I was so desperately unhappy that I would have taken any means of escape offered to me.

And it sort of makes me wonder how chucking this opportunity has even crossed my mind.

I know that if I gave up on teaching I wouldn’t be able to deal with going home. I can’t, and refuse to, be that person again. And this time, my resolve is so much stronger.

I don’t know what the next year of teaching will be like, but I’m ready to take on the experience. I think overall it will be good for me.

Six weeks in the making: An update.

So let’s put this into perspective, shall we?

I have been abroad for about six weeks now. In that time I have obtained a TEFL certificate, had a couple stress-related meltdowns, met one of my favorite travel bloggers, walked across the Charles Bridge multiple times, sat on the bank of the Vltava River in the rain, visited TWO castles, drank lots of Czech beer, danced until 5 in the morning to cheesy 80s music, went to a club made out of used car parts, taken train rides through the German countryside, visited a church made out of human bones, eaten way too many potato-and-meat-based foods, went to a REAL football game, taught Czech students,  and what else?

Oh, yeah.

I moved to Asia. Taipei, Taiwan, to be exact.

It’s been quite an interesting six weeks. No wonder I’m pretty much always slightly exhausted.

I’m loving this though. It’s nice to feel excited about every day again, instead of feeling as though I’m simply going through the motions of a normal day.

Even though I don’t have a teaching job just yet, when I’m wandering through Taipei, or when I used to wander through Prague, I just felt a rush of satisfaction. A feeling of: “This is it. This is what I worked for.” It’s a great feeling.

So, let’s catch up. When I moved to Europe, I was all set to stay in the Czech Republic (or a neighboring country) for at least the next year. I always wanted to go to Asia, but wasn’t sure I could handle it right away.

That changed.

During the course I started talking to a few girls who wanted to go as well, but none of us wanted to go alone. So…we decided to go together, and within two weeks, made it happen.

Nothing like spur of the moment decisions, eh?

Works for me.

Taipei, so far, is pretty fantastic. I haven’t seen too much of the city, but I know it’s got some good things to see. That will be done this weekend, hopefully. Although I can say, the night markets offer delicious (and questionable) food, and the clothing market is entirely too tempting for someone on a limited budget with no foreseeable income.

I miss Prague already.  It truly is an amazing, gorgeous, lovely city, but I have this feeling I’ll be there again someday. Maybe after I teach in Germany. I fell in love with that country after just a few days.

Who knows what the future holds? It’s OK to be undecided about everything. I don’t mind it. Not right now.